Thanks Mate! Always a pleasure!

Sorry for such a late reply as I did not see it (no excuses). You have given me some super nice words to ponder on this very personal song mate. I thank you for that.
I can really classify the genre of this song, just know it comes from the heart.
Thanks again.
Steven

Yes indeed, thanks for noticing that.
Cru

Hey Xylient.
Thanks for commenting.
I like the pluck with it's slowed down intentional distortion because it conveys just that feeling that I'm trying to describe when someones in a catatonic state. Though I did remix and remaster this and I added a slight delay on the pluck and fixed a few spots that were annoying me over the last month. I appreciate the offer though to remake the loop, that's awfully generous of you.
cheers
Steve

Thank you scary spider!

Hey Sorry for the late reply.
Yes this one is a very personal and cathartic song that I made. The structure of What I wanted to do was in my head way before I even started to produce it. Mental illness is a serious, strange reality for so many people in this world. I wanted to express how the different states affect the people who love and care for people with brain injuries and issues. I want to spread awareness that mental illness is an illness of an organ called the brain, no different that someone having a lung issue (asthma) or Kidney (dialysis). The only difference is that the normal cognitive experience will change for a bit and that person needs your love, support, guidance, strength, trust, whilst the storm rages in there mind, and to know there is hope and help as the brain heals after these episodes. I saw a dear loved one deteriorate before my eyes. Luckily I had educated myself on the warning signs and was able to convince this person to get help voluntarily before it would become messy and difficult. During that first week this person experienced Catatonia for a few days and massive memory loss of that week. It was a combination of the Bi-Polar episode and the massive drugs that were given. For me my relief of stress and worry is in writing music. So you see that I have produced a lot of tracks very quickly just indicates I am reliving the stress of the situation. I am lucky that I have a great support team behind me and I reached out for professional advice early on and it has helped beyond belief. Also I am Highly educated on what can and will happen so we can survive this storm together, and I am happy to say patient is recovering very well now. I am aware many people here suffer from various mental illness and from time to time may or may not be in the most lucid state, but I just wanted to reach out part selfish cathartic release, but also part "you're all not alone" and there are some of us who understand what you are going through even if we don't feel the pain, or euphoria, or the depression, or the voices, we see the fallout. And people like myself are the safety net so someone doesn't cause too much damage to themselves and can get rest and help to allow the stormed brain to re-load. So musically this song has a shit-load of emotional baggage and yet an almost wondrous approach to what the subject might be experiencing. I thank you for listening and fav and downloading this was a very personal song for me.
Steve

Thanks Rhodesy, I love to arrange music. I introduce light dissonance and atonality every now and then just to get the casual listener used to it. One day I will release a full blown atonal tune.
Cru

Yah Yah sehr gut. Wunderbar.

Hi Billy, thanks for the nice words. 3.19 onwards is my fav as well. thanks
Steve

I wish I could have sat in on a few of those sessions. Feel free to expound on any of my sounds anytime!
Steve

Thanks, my fav has and always will be shining force for sega!

Hey Dave. A Fistful of Acid ehh? The person in question has heard the track but it's hard to have a meaningful discussion about it as the person doesn't remember the week of catatonic behaviour, and from my perspective of observing it first hand, that might not be a bad thing not being able to remember it. For me music has always been a sort of a stress therapy in a way. I always appreciated how Kate Bush could write so detailed and clear about subjects that really never affected her in her own daily life. (ie:This womans work, or Breathing) But in this case this affects myself as an observer with an emotional stake. I don't sing and usually write crap lyrics, But I can arrange music and play instruments and I can try to make those arrangements convey a musical journey or story that reflects an emotion or a feeling. Plants and ambient music, who knows? but I do know my cat Liam likes 17th century classical music and hates my avant garde music. And my other cat Wolfie likes to play the piano in a very atonal method that I wouldn't recommend to anybody.
" music is always better when the objective is an extrapolation and not just a construct"
I would wholeheartedly agree with that statement, We should be looking beyond in our work more often than not. The greatest works we treasure to this day musically have that special trait, with the exception of the chicken dance, though one could say the author knew it would be played at weddings all around the world some day.
Thanks for stopping bye
Cheers Steve

Thanks Danke. Yeah that drum sound is a rock drum sample that i compressed and lowered the EQ in the 200 range so it really snaps at you. It was a massive song that I loved making.
handshake
Steve

Thank you PK, you are correct music is better than any drug. Are you enjoying the cold air we sent you tonight from Canada.....windchill tonight here in Ottawa is -41f ...freaking cold.....
here is a tune that has been inspiring over the last few days.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WZfcQOmiM5k
Thanks for stopping bye
Cru

Thank you for the nice words. When music can make you trip without the medicinals, you know you'v done something right!!
cru

Really, I'd like to know what the conversation is about then?
;-)
Cru

Aye Statica Nomadica

"I used to have a girlfriend called Catatonia. No, not really but it does sound like a lady's name.
"
It could be the start to a brilliant Limerick!"

"Pleasant little wibbly, sci-fi intro. Very cinematic and quite beautiful, especially the distant piano part. And then some guitar strums and 0:42 we're into something wildly different. The film has drastically changed scene."

Oh yes, normality then the mental storm hits, building stronger and stronger like the strum of a guitar.

"1:04 not once but twice I thought someone was knocking on my window behind me so had to turn round to look. No, just Cru's bongos. "

You know it wasn't my intention to introduce Paranoia since I covered that on another song, but it would be relevant here as well. great observation.

"I have no idea what sort of genre this strummy guitar section fits in. It's clearly not you in dance mode."

no this is myself in deep introspective mode doing my second musical piece of the day.

"1:58 gamelan sort of tinkly sound that is quite pleasant. Beat is a bit 'big beat' but more chilled.

2:29 that's a nice right panned (and then left) synth arp. Fades away nicely. Then tinkly stuff gets more discordant and children's nightmarish. And computer gamey."

This is the cool part of the song for me. I love that beat and the twinkly bits melding with that electro-bass. The synth arp at 2:29 fit perfectly but then I duplicated it and bumped it up a 6th on the left channel and then cross faded them out gently. Then the discord as we start to reach catatonia. You will be proud.. the pad is a timestretch and designed to sound gently haunting and yet peaceful. This part you won't be proud of when I do a Dr Who ref....wait for it..........(I went all Timey Wimey on the pad!!) The melody is from xylient at this juncture.
"3:32 gentle, melodic lead suggests this might turn into a euphoric trance track. Often that's what you'd do but not this time."

Ah hahh! Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!

"Instead 4:48 is quite a cool glitchy beat."

As we come out of the catatonic state things are not alright yet. Very glitchy in real life. Very disjointed.

"Haunting, evolving, glassy pad ending to conclude a very varied track. If you dropped the strummy stuff, you could have a more straightforward melodic track but then it wouldn't represent the catatonia you appear to want to represent in musical form."

You sir are the genius That I expect you to be. You nailed it why I wrote this the way I did, and understand it. Now in the future, maybe I streamline this to be more commercial or more palatable to the easygoing listener. But for now, I will enjoy my little piece of art and am grateful that I get to share it with people who appreciate and can also be honest in appraising what they like and don't like. And also be a sarcastic jacka** every now and then as well.;-)
Crutonia

Thanks!

"ok, I listened several times and this might be one of your best works, I think."

Thank you for that. It came to me right after making Control Freak. I used the same Xylient loop which sounds so different slowed down. But I just had this idea of telling a story of a person close to me who suffers from Bi-polarism and had a mixed episode which rendered this person almost Catatonic for a week. I wanted to express that notion in a musical form. Thus all the disjointed key sigs, syncopation and dissonant sounds until we reach the deep pad which is Time stretched (the person in question after coming out of the catatonic state thought they were hospitalized for months rather than one week. I thought the pad and a simple melody line conveyed that sense. The glitch like drums coming back in with the pad fading out is the loss of this state and a frantic confused state only to be balanced out in the end.
"I liked the bright outro (I do not find the atmos dark anymore)" thanks, it is meant to convey hope, but a guarded hope.
"Really solid stylistically overkilled track"
I like that description
Thanks for your thoughts and ideas Alex, very much appreciated.
Steve

Thanks!

Thank You

Thanks for the listen. You are right when you say this one is not for pop radio at all. This is more for intellectual study or deep meditation of the medicinal kind I think. Or just being insane ;-)
Cru

Thanks, if you ever have any questions on why or how, ask away. this song would not be everyone's cup of tea but I like to make avant garde songs every now and then.
Cru

Thanks Alex, I appreciate the feedback and you wanting to hear it properly.