Description : Another track, another poem... enough to fill an EP maybe?

This particular poetry consists of two 1000 year old Japanese "renga", short "word flowers" about the autumn rains. They inspired me... and I hope you will like them too.

As always, it's a work in progress. The drums are too mushy, my voice is... my voice. Please help me with your honest criticism and point out everything I've done wrong. Thank you!

So far 23 users have left a comment on this track.
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  1. rockoff
    rockoff on Sun 25th Sep 2022 - 1 week ago

    dude i listened to this again your getting way better at what you do there is lots of improvements

  2. rockoff
    rockoff on Sun 25th Sep 2022 - 1 week ago

    by the way was the band Santanna back then not just Carlos

  3. rockoff
    rockoff on Sun 25th Sep 2022 - 1 week ago

    good stuff I wouldn't compare guitar to carols I actually was with him back stage when i was 10 I had a friend handicap her mom worked at Saratoga springs performing arts center in the ticket office we needed good handicap access so was back stage during show 19 80 I believe nice work tho man kep up good work

  4. midiman007
    midiman007 on Sun 25th Sep 2022 - 1 week ago

    Great Track. Funk, Rock and jazz ,. Nice change ups in the song.

  5. pseudoble
    pseudoble on Sun 25th Sep 2022 - 1 week ago

    Nice work - really well crafted song and the guitar work is a standout - yes sounding somewhere between santana and clapton (but leaning a little more to carlos) but very nice - all the other elements sound very nice too to me also(but Im only listening on the laptop speakers so hard to hear the real quality of the mix and production sound. What I can hear though is a fantastic song and great playing : )

    BaoBou
    Reply by BaoBou

    Thanks so much my friend!!

  6. Kirkoid
    Kirkoid on Sat 24th Sep 2022 - 1 week ago

    That rain is way better.

    BaoBou
    Reply by BaoBou

    Yeah you were right. Thank you :)

  7. crucethus
    crucethus on Sat 24th Sep 2022 - 1 week ago

    So what I like about this: 1. guitar, you are what you are an awesome bluesy somewhere between clapton and santana, no issues, no worries. 2. I agree on the percussion and drums, but I believe this song could use a tasteful snare here and there, and maybe a fill or 2 as I like the playfulness of going all out and then reigning it back in again. 3. I disagree with Manu about the piano at 1:20. It just sounds like an old upright piano and it gives the tune character. 4. Your vocals are the best Ive heard so far from you. and I like the doubling effect you used, all and all a really good track and fav'd

    BaoBou
    Reply by BaoBou

    Thanks so much Steve! Yeah I feel I'm starting to hit the sweet spot at times :)

  8. MPOProduction
    MPOProduction on Fri 23rd Sep 2022 - 1 week ago

    very nice ...

    BaoBou
    Reply by BaoBou

    Thank you!

  9. Manu1978
    Manu1978 on Thu 22nd Sep 2022 - 1 week ago

    Well at least you can drink the case of cider yourself *laughs. I have all my fingers crossed for you and whatever else I have that you do your homework well and the producer sticks up for you. Kind regards Manuela (Africa, Tanzania, Zanzibar)

    BaoBou
    Reply by BaoBou

    Ohhhh... Tanzania - liked that better than Kenya but didn't make it to Zanzibar. Well, at least the bar I'll be tomorrow is also called Zanzibar, so that's close enough ;)

  10. Manu1978
    Manu1978 on Thu 22nd Sep 2022 - 1 week ago

    Hello, first of all the drums are not muddy and your voice is a good voice that fits this sound perfectly! I find the song very bluesy and soulful. And Soul, in my opinion, sums it up best. The song is straight from the heart and very soulful. The guitar is dominant, that's how it should be, after all it was played by an excellent guitarist. But the tuning to the keyboard is not clean in some places, for example at the transition at 1:20. There the keyboard is pushed too far by the guitar. i think you know what i mean Maybe a small mixing or mastering problem? But great play has something of Clapton from his earlier days. Greetings Manuela

    BaoBou
    Reply by BaoBou

    Thanks for your comments! Great stuff!
    The guitar being slightly out of tune is also something I had noticed in places (0:50, 3:09) but it was a bit like you said on the other track, if anybody notices I'll give myself a case of cider ;)
    Good catch though!
    I still disagree with you on the drums (although this is probably my best vocal effort ever). I showed the track to a producer yesterday (a couple tracks) and he said that the drums is the weakest part of them, to the point where stronger drums would really finish them.
    So... I have my homework!
    You said you're half a world away... if you're in Asia tell them I miss them, if you're on the US westcoast tell them I miss them even more, if you're in the Caribbean... tell them see you soon ;)
    Thanks as always Manuela, it's great to have solid constructive comments from a real artist!

  11. xstokes
    xstokes on Wed 21st Sep 2022 - 1 week ago

    sung and played with such complete conviction i wouldnt change a thing, man. you are like penetrating some far out mysteries here!
    thank you for introducing to a new form, the selections you made are masterworks, you give a timeless perf on this. dude did you translate these, that is a hella thing in itself.

    BaoBou
    Reply by BaoBou

    Thank you so much man, very moving words!
    No, my Japanese is pretty non-existant beyond konnichiwa and sayonara ;)

    I based this actually on a Dutch blog post. That guy deserves all the credit, because this is also 1000 year old poetry. penseelvanwind.nl/vallen-op-verval/ is the post - you may not speak Dutch, but you'll see how pretty he shaped the words.

    Awesome job, and I tried to capture that spirit.
    Thanks again my friend!

  12. Gixxie
    Gixxie on Wed 21st Sep 2022 - 1 week ago

    You kidnapped Carlos Santana!!

    You definitely have enough for an EP, you just need to EQ it a bit to master it i think, maybe a little bit of compression on the master track to blend/glue the rain sample together with the rest of the track.

    I use Soundcloud as my distribution service to all other major music streaming platforms. Soundcloud has a 'Pro Unlimited' account where you can ditribute unlimited tracks, you just pay a fixed amount per year but you can ditribute unlimited tracks instead of paying per track to distribute.

    BaoBou
    Reply by BaoBou

    Hahaha je hebt mijn geheim ontdekt, yep, hij logeert op mijn bank, vastgeketend aan de verwarming ;)

    Goeie tips! Ja dat is geen gek idee, dan kan ik eerst beilig op SOundcloud publiceren, misschien een beetje spelen en tracks uitwisselen, en als ik tevreden ben naar Spotify etc. Goed idee!

    Mixing en Mastering is idd niet mn sterke punt :eyeroll: :D ik probeer het te leren, maar het zou helemaal niet gek zijn om 4 tracks te kiezen, exporteren en naar een expert te sturen om er het meeste uit te halen.

    Mijn dank is groot!

  13. RitajustRita
    RitajustRita on Wed 21st Sep 2022 - 1 week ago

    Again a nice track with voice Baobou!!
    I think you have enough for a ep?
    And you have a distrobution service to put it on spotify etc?

    BaoBou
    Reply by BaoBou

    Yeah that's what I need to think about. I haven't brought out anything on Spotify/iTunes, but I think it's slowly slowly getting to a decent quality. Maybe clean up a bit more and master it, then pack up 4-5 songs (the poems) and bundle it.
    But most likely I'll do that on my Soundcloud first ;)

  14. iNTERGALATiCnOiSE
    iNTERGALATiCnOiSE on Wed 21st Sep 2022 - 1 week ago

    Gorgeous piece. Smooth and silky. Ooh la la. Sipping my cup of java while I'm listening. Your musicianship is stellar. I dig the timbre of your voice, it has a unique ring to it, and I think it suits the music very well. Look forward to hearing more of your music. Faved.

    Regards

    o o

    o

    BaoBou
    Reply by BaoBou

    Wow, those are great words and beautiful comments to wake up to. Thank you intergalactic!!

  15. DijamMusic
    DijamMusic on Wed 21st Sep 2022 - 1 week ago

    Hello, my dear friend B.
    Or should I have called you Mr. Robert Lee Frost?
    Mate in this track your voice is really good and clear but really the ear candy is the sound of your guitar.
    I loved it mate.
    Great track.
    Well done
    Maj

    BaoBou
    Reply by BaoBou

    Hahaha in this case the credits go to Fujiwara no Akisuke and the Japanese "Shika Wakasu" ;)

    Actually the credit maybe goes to a Dutch blogger who wrote a post on these 2 small poems ("word flowers").
    penseelvanwind.nl/vallen-op-verval/

    He added an image with the graphic representation of rain falling on a car window, and that got me thinking... I made a quick rhythm on the drumset... Some keyboard chords... And then the song wrote itself. Some songs just have a mind of their own.

    Thanks for listening and your always positive words Maj! But I need more criticism from you, you have the knowledge after all :)

  16. rockoff
    rockoff on Tue 20th Sep 2022 - 1 week ago

    i wouldnt say rain sounds like hail sounds like a movie projector pretty kool track

    BaoBou
    Reply by BaoBou

    OMG a movie projector :D

    OK ok ok, I will have to admit that my girlfriend is right as usual. I changed the rain sounds... let me know if it's better now :D

  17. Kirkoid
    Kirkoid on Tue 20th Sep 2022 - 1 week ago

    The material suits your voice well, the track sounds great with it. If I were being picky, I'd say the rain sounds like hail.

    BaoBou
    Reply by BaoBou

    Hahaha picky is good!

    Yeah my girlfriend said it sucked, and promoted another clip that I didn't like. I didn't want too "watery" sounds, I don't want people to run off for a pee before I can finish the track. Now I have to start to understand foley too? :D

    If you can find a better one here, let me know...:
    https://www.epidemicsound.com/track/CFslmJ7ldI/

  18. bringerofDOOM
    bringerofDOOM on Tue 20th Sep 2022 - 1 week ago

    You've got good songwriting skills and good overall musicianship.

    If you are looking for advice, I'd find a funky lick resource of some kind (tutorials are great), to increase the variance of your fills (across multiple instruments and songs). Then learn each lick in every key (I do them chromatically), so that you have a muscle memory library to pull from (this is an old bebop technique).

    When it comes to vocal training, I would practice scales through the 12 keys. There is nothing wrong with your voice. If you want it to sound better (and you are too hard on yourself), you need to develop the muscles (probably via more tutorials). You would be amazed what a little sight singing and ear training can do. Get your 10,000 hrs in and you may scare yourself :)

    Food for thought. Hope it helps, keep it up.

    BaoBou
    Reply by BaoBou

    Awesome points Ben, and thanks for the compliments.
    I'm taling drum lessons at the moment; thinking to switch to singing - oh how I'd love to do both, but we only have 26 hours in a day after all ;)
    Oh 24? That must be why it feels so rushed ;)
    10.000 hours times 5 instruments, let me see... Ok, see you again in June 2028 ;)
    Great tips man. Not sure I can all of it but it's well understood and definitely noted!

  19. Zootman
    Zootman on Tue 20th Sep 2022 - 1 week ago

    I think your track is rather beautiful. It has nature in it, just like the poems. Never fear about your voice man, I like it and on this track they are definitely on the money. A bit of Santana in this maybe.

    BaoBou
    Reply by BaoBou

    Thanks buddy, much appreciated!
    Anyone making a reference to Santana is a friend of mine ;)

  20. Angelusyeux777SC
    Angelusyeux777SC on Tue 20th Sep 2022 - 1 week ago

    I love the sound of the rain BUT anyways, I have to say that guitar is selling this song to me no end & got me hooked!...Very smooth! and tasty track here indeed and your vocals have a very soulful authenticity to it. Much enjoyed! Keep On!

    Angelus

    BaoBou
    Reply by BaoBou

    Thank you so much Angelus! _o_

    Maybe if you want/have time also give a listen to the "When you go" track - I wrote that with in my mind that you should sing it. It's a total mess in sound levels/mixing etc (in your words I can't mix for toffee), but... Well, in my mind, this could be a track for you :)

    Thanks again, you know I admire your music very much and a positive feedback from you generally makes my day :)

  21. CINCOCENT
    CINCOCENT on Tue 20th Sep 2022 - 1 week ago

    Hey man? Yea u a true artist.
    Brilliant come in towards end.
    Very creative and musical!
    Enjoyed my listen.

    BaoBou
    Reply by BaoBou

    That's a beautiful comment man. Thank you so much!

  22. Jynxz
    Jynxz on Tue 20th Sep 2022 - 1 week ago

    I like the suspense in the intro.
    The Guitar is soulful and the Vocals
    put me in the mind of the singer for "Dire
    Straights" loved it. If I just had to do something
    different in this track; I think, I wouldn't be as hard
    core with the stereo separation, especially for the keys.
    I (my opinion) would have given the Piano and Guitar a little
    nudge towards the center.

    Great track..

    PEACE...

    BaoBou
    Reply by BaoBou

    Ha yes, you're right about the panning! I generally try to get the music right before thinking about the mixing - however in this case I'd actually added a "utility" which added to the stereo image which probably makes it worse :D
    I'll fix that one first :)
    Thanks a lot and thanks for enjoying!

  23. dimestop
    dimestop on Mon 19th Sep 2022 - 1 week ago

    underground indie bro your vocal is tight, sounds better, but its sitting in the right spot your git i love, the drums need a little bit more space that hat is dominant i wanna here the snare kick and cymbal crisper they crushing each other slightly, love the intro outro, its shows you care about the whole production, but i think the vox are bang on bro

    BaoBou
    Reply by BaoBou

    Haha yes, is this Indie? I guess not, but what is it? It's BaoBou, that's the main point... Genres are silly.
    Hm yes, you're right about the hats, snare and cymbal; I'm also not happy with the kick. The thing is I'm trying to figure out my electronic drum kit; there are some different sounds, but I may also need to play around with the levels. And I will also discuss the rhythm(s) with my drum teacher tonight - let's see what comes out of that.
    Thanks so much for listening, commenting and enjoying Paul. Much appreciated:)

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