phantomhim

I'm getting the feeling from what you wrote about your track that your fairly new to production "this isn't your first song : p' and worried about people not liking your stuff.

I have to say tho, it's really nice. You've got the right idea and obviously have a musical ear. So don't worry, just keep at it, the harder you work the better you'll get and quicker too.

Few things I'd do to improve it:

Vary your snare drum pattern a little more, throw in a couple of extra notes and push the odd note VERY slightly out of time to add feeling. Push it backwards if you want to slow the track down in feel for a second, or forwards to make it sound snappy for a second. Depending on which sounds better at the point in the beat you're working on.

Expand either the piano or the vocal with a different melody. Could just be something simple around the end or middle of the verse or wherever fits.

Try chopping the elements up a little more, cutting elements out of the beat every now and then, it can make a big difference to break up the track just cutting the odd little bit and piece out.

Keep up the good work anyway mate.

Rick.

This sounds like a Dupstep version of DJ Shadow Organ Grinder.

It's interesting, the bassline is well done, the drums need more movement. I have to say tho mate, it's a bold move and I've not seen anyone else go in this direction.

So fair play and good luck sir.

Alright mate, few things.

You need to quantize the drums in this. If you don't know how to do that or what that is I mean you need to straighten them up. Get them running in time. But then it's always good to push a few of your drum notes a touch out of time to give your drums a bit of feeling. But you only want to do that to percussion in general, the odd snare maybe but keep your kicks constant. Also the synth line and notes aren't grimey enough yet, I'd go back and chance the notes and not have it coming in all the time.

You need to think about structure more, make a 8 bar into a 8 bar chorus and then a 16 bar verse for example.

Also think about what's doing what in the song, as in.... You need to really think about what notes are doing what to make the movement in the song. What won't do is just throwing more ideas and notes over the top to compensate for a half arsed beat. Go back and listen to your fav grime choons and think about what makes them move the way they do.

Most of all mate you need more time. I can tell you've just started off producing, it's just a question of time, patience, thinking and practicing.

Good luck mate, and keep going.

Yeah, this is nice. I'd much rather here something like that than most other "DNB" choons that are just a sample with bad synth work.

It's not perfect yet, but if you keep taking no short cuts and building your own tracks like that you'll become solid over time.

Keep it up mate.

Nice switch in this, some sweet sax work. I think you should work on the drums next tho, get them sounding a little nicer, and a little less rigid.

Did you play all in instruments?

I have to say, you come across as arrogant, and you seem to think that your some kind of profit. You didn't predict anything, you looked at information like everyone else and came to a conclusion. The same conclusion as most other intelligent people. This IS advice for your music by the way. It's not meant to be an insult. The song is pretty good, the lyrics are not bad but involve only information that you'd hear on the news anyway. I'd dig a little deeper and really find out whats going on, then put that in your lyrics. We NEED people like you that want to get the truth about the world out, but we don't need an ego to go along with it. Also the mix needs sorting out in the vocals.

... and that's the truth mate. Keep searching, keep doing your music, and don't hate me for trying to help you and being honest. : p

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REPLY TO BELOW: ""Goodbye" is about the world coming to end, which is something I predicted. However, no one believed me, and here I am gloating about how they should of listened. Any feedback would be great, as I feel like I'm improving as an artist as I create more tracks"

I'm getting two completely different pictures here. I'm going to just leave you to it mate, the reply you just gave makes me think that you're worse than I thought in the first place. You need to learn to accept critique. The people who have slagged me off the worst in my musical path have been the ones that helped me the most.

That's all I'm going to say on this.

Nice, i like.

I think the new versions heavy. If possible would you let me remix it? I don't know if you're into hip hop, but i could do an awesome hip hop choon with that bass. Also I'd bring that bass to the forefront a little more, the rhythm is great and it would help to carry the verse more.

Overall it's very very nice.

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Needs a high synth in there, played 2 octaves or so above the first bassline. If I were you I'd bring it in when the backup synth comes in, after 16 bars or whatever it is.

Nice track anyway. Did you play the drums? Or program?

Nice work, could easily have that in a mix. Keep it up g.

The title of this song isn't a reference to Shenmue is it? I might just be looking into it too much, crazy track anyway.

Are you playing all that? Or just the piano?

My fav I"ve heard on this site so far. Really nice.

I like it, reminds me of NIN and other dark-wave electronic stuff. It could do with a change, maybe every 32 bars have a nice piano break for 4 bars and come back in with the drums a little louder in a 4x4 pattern or something.

Anyway that's my 2 pence, keep up the good work mate.

R.

Some nice ideas in there mate, needs a mix and an eq. But i'm sure you're on the case.

I like it, the main synth line is heavy.

Stay up mate.