Do You Love Me - Bloomonkey

29th Sep 2022 18:41 - 4 years ago
Description : Just a chilled tune I made in logic pro, looking for critique on how I can improve on it. Still very much learning about beats and music compostion. Cheers!! I got the Vocal from PatriciaEdwards on this website.

Comments (2)

If you have time take a listen and give bloomonkey some feedback.

EricMilligan
EricMilligan 7th Oct 2022 02:31 - 3 years ago
Hi, Bloomonkey! Hello from Ottawa! Nice to meet you! (Inverness is one our our favourite places in Scotland, especially the River Walk.)

Saw your post in the forum and took a listen to your track. I agree with Bear on most of his comments. I liked the way you introduced different elements as the track progressed. Panning is good. I didn't hear it more pronounced on the left side, but probably worth checking how your Master level meters are looking in Logic. (I use Logic as well.) I was pleased to see that you had quite a good bit of dynamic range in the track. It doesn't just max out continuously in the wave form display.

That said, I do have some suggestions. First: there are only two chords in the track, played repeatedly by the synth pad. The other elements do help to make the track not overwhelming repetitive and boring, but it really would be improved by adding in at least one additional chord progression.

Second, I also think there's no variation in the drum pattern throughout the track, at least not enough to be noticeable. I'm guilty of the same thing in my tracks, but your track really needs more elements that will maintain interest. So, I'd consider layering some other drum/percussion patterns at points. Not sure what you have other than Ultrabeat (the drum synth that comes with Logic), but it actually has lots of patterns as presets and is easy to program patterns from scratch.

I think the bass line is good, but should be more pronounced in the mix. It is submerged relative to the two-chord pad part. The timbre of the bass patch is OK, but in addition to increasing the level in the mix, you might experiment with EQ settings to give it a bit more bite and some compression also if you don't have that already on the bass track.

You can't go wrong with using one of Patricia's vocals. If you create an arrangement with an additional chord progression, you might be able to use something else from her acapella, not just repeat the same phrase.

Overall, I think the mix is a bit muddy, largely due I think to the prominence of the synth pad which dominates the middle to upper low frequency range. I would experiment with EQing the synth pad track to make room for the bass line and reduce the level of the synth pad track in the mix as well, relative to other parts.

Those are my comments, for what it's worth. I did like the track. I'd say it represents a good foundation. Needs a little bit of fine-tuning of the mix and, as Bear also said, a tempo or chord change (I favour a chord progression change) to make the arrangement even more engaging for the listener.

Eric
bloomonkey
bloomonkey replied 13th Oct 2022 - 3 years ago
Hi Eric, Ottowa! Thats awesome, so you have been to Inverness?! Not many people have heard of it strangely, the river and canal walk is lovely here.

And thanks for the great input, I really appreciate the time you took to reply, it's exactly the kind of feedback I am looking for and to hear a different perspective really helps.

I totally agree about the beat, its something I have been trying to improve on lately so will work on a variation to add in. And also will attempt adding a 3rd or 4th Chord as well, I did toy with it originally but couldnt find the right chord to change to at the time, but I will give it another bash.

And will also play with the EQ settings over all too, of course.

Great advice and thanks again, hope Ottowa is sunny ;-)

Tim
ShortBusMusic
ShortBusMusic 30th Sep 2022 17:06 - 4 years ago
Nice work here. I think the mix is actually pretty good. I like the panning on the piano/bell synth (it has some really nice movement from left to right). The pad on both intro sections could possibly use a bit wider stereo field. Also, it could be my ancient ears, but most of the instruments seem to be centered or skewed to the left, leaving the right side of things seeming a little neglected (I hope that makes sense - it could just be my hearing too, haha). I did enjoy this a lot and I'm a fan of good chilled music. All in all, it was an enjoyable listen and your production skills are really pretty good. Compositionally it was also Well done. If you wanted to get crazy you could throw a tempo or chord change in the middle and then transition back. There are lots of changes you could do, but you could also just leave it as it is...it's a solid effort. I hope all is well.

Bear
bloomonkey
bloomonkey replied 13th Oct 2022 - 3 years ago
Hi Bear

Thanks for the reply and advice. Glad you liked the track too.

I think you and Eric both nailed it with the same sort of answers. Something to give a bit of variation and change of pace.

V2 coming soon ;-)

Thanks again.

Tim

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