MOONLYTE

Outstanding work EYEDYE. You have a nice quality to your voice. I think if you had an opportunity to sing this one in a studio you would be amazed at how good you would sound.

This one has huge potential, especially if you want to add instrumentation (strings, bass, guitar, and possibly some percussion). It has an epic feel to it as it stands, but a ton of potential as well if you want to take it to another level. Really sounds like something Coldplay would do (and I happen to really like Coldplay's music). Very nice job. I hope all is well.

Bear

I've always digged songs or any form of art that can effectively create a surreal feeling or even a creepy mood. Well, this most definitely achieves that really well. Love how this song immediately inserts the listener into a story, a scene, creating its own unique atmosphere. Very creative and haunting. Keep up the good work.

Nice banging track ..Every instrument is sitting well on the mix. good job

God this is good.

I disagree with some of the comments here – I love the structure, dialogue and story, and you should definitely NOT be in any hurry to change things here as it’s working very well indeed IMHO.

Instantly captivating, cool and original and an absolute breath of fresh air.

It’s well mixed and restrained although the suggestion of doubling the vocal might be a good idea.

What could be nice is to re-sing some sections exactly the same but on a different note (a 5th or 4th or 3rd above or below) to create a simple harmony.

Don’t forget to really think about the lyric and story and reflect that in the arrangement. There is a little hiccup at 2.50 when the guitar doubles on the echo, and again when you take it out and go back to the single at 4.04. This might be fixed with a ‘fade in’ rather than a hard start and stop. But as the lyric is ‘false reality’ you introduce the idea that there is another level of being… ‘the dream world’ … and it’s a nice idea to highlight these words by bringing in ‘another level’ to the guitar or another instrument or voice at that point to show the listener you what you mean musically.

Illustrate the words with the music.

I don’t sing as well as you, so I over-cooked the vocals a bit on What Is Real Never Fades:

https://www.looperman.com/tracks/detail/153504

…by singing 6 times to thicken it up and I think it loses a little intimacy as a result, but play around with an additional voice in there, either as a double or a harmony, as JJWeeks says it still can be gentle even if you thicken it (..a little trick is that 3 layers together on the same note will fix the pitch variation, but 2 or 4 does not…not sure why…just a trick used by violin players :).

The idea is brilliant. The post-apocalyptic, semi-conscious vibe is breath-taking and please don’t do too much. It does sound like a kind of rock intro on first listen (we are waiting for the full rock bass / guitar / drums to crash in…but they don’t and it would make it ‘ordinary’ and like everybody else’s music if you did that I think).

Keep it cool. Less is more, as they say, and overall a brilliant little track which more than demonstrates your creativity, uniqueness, nerve and talent…to coin a phrase.

Fix that little guitar glitch I mentioned, have a quick play with the voice double, but I would definitely be tempted to leave it alone, keep it on the site, and quickly move on and do another song. It will give you a fresh canvas for a new idea and you have it in you to be brilliant I think.

Well done and keep going.

Cheers for now. Maff.

Fuck what they say man just keep making music and you will grow i love it!

Hello.

Along with what Evisma and JJWeeks have said, I'd also like mention that quality is far more impressive and noteworthy than quantity. Not to sound discouraging by any means. You have good ideas. I'd like to see you take more time and let them have a chance to evolve to their full potential.

Keep at it, mister.

Take care.
V.

Creepy indeed, the description mentioning "the little girl parts" doesn't help.

Mr. EYEDYE, I like the idea of where you were going, just know that stuff will be picked apart and judged, for good or bad. Examine everything you write and do before you dangle it out there.

I believe JJWeekz was very tactful and helpful and her advice should be seriously considered.

Keep at it and you WILL get better. Take care.

Evan

Your music has this original, almost operatic feel to it- which draws me in!!! Love it!

Your profile says you have a youtube where you upload your musical compositions, but I don't see a link to your youtube.

Gosh I love the beginning vocal background...beautiful, bravo.

Vocally, this could use to be rehearsed a couple more times, to eliminate some of the shakiness. Sometimes you start off beat and off tempo, but I also hear a lot of great tone in this. Overall, I would layer up your voice again in an editor so it's stronger or sing with slightly more confidence. You can still sing soft while gathering up some "grrr" in your low tone.

The dialog weirded me out a bit, wasn't really sure what was going on there and honestly sounded pedo-bear creepy to me. If I wrote this, I would have shortened the dialogue and eliminated some of the lines (which come off a bit cheesy and bit cliche), though I admire the art in adding this element.

I did immensely enjoy the acoustic part and your low talking voice in the beginning, as well as the mysterious rock style often found in Metallica and or even System of a Down's song Hypnotize.

I'm definitely following your progress on here, because you drew me in with those pellas you posted. I still feel we have yet to hear something from you which lives up to your profile description: "I've been lyrically gifted from an early age..."

Show me ;-) Accept the challenge. I'll be waiting for your next upload.

a gentle ballad piano. a soulful vocalise. beautiful gentle vocal. "is this reality or just another fucked up dream!" that sentiment is an interesting contrast to the gentleness of the music! i appreciate your sharing some of the mixing approach. i think you are successful in your application of compression. peace.

Great song man you guys are awesome

beautifull & innovative. a good couple can be such ina a harmonic perception & U both had composed such a heartY lyriX so nice .respects.___Behnam

i like it, i like 1:03 and after , the start seemed a lot different from the rest like 2 different songs. but i enjoyed the track, its cool you and your g/f sang it together, i respect that, can't get my chick to sing with me.

omg you still have a lot to learn :D

but you can only get better. so keep trying mate.

meh its okay. the piano sounds pretty cheap and the snares were out of sync with the bpm of the track, there was also alot of clipping in your sound. but other that it's not bad... nice singing voices btw.

Your song reminds me of Scream1, Scream2 and Scream3. Good work. Keep it up.

Man i love this so much. The piano draws me in and your voice is amazing i cant wait to see your next song bro keep me posted. if you have facebook add me https://www.facebook.com/josh.baucum

Hey - just listened to this and can't believe there are no comments and only a few listens so far as it's very good indeed and you have a great voice, full of soul and character.

I guess you did not comment on others tracks recently, as doing so will push this towards the front page of 'featured' where it deserves to be, given the quality here, and I think many people would enjoy it.

You seem to have a reasonable quality mic, but there are some pops and clicks which might be on the piano loops, but I hear some definite thumps from being too close to the mic in places. Easy to fix and does not undermine the track really, as it grabs the listener from the start and has compelling direction and journey.

Do you have a pop shield? They are cheap and work wonders, but you achieve a real intimacy here and the effect is simple and powerful.

Just wanted you to know there are people all over the world listening to this - and you have a real impressive talent.

Very good - can't wait to hear more from you.

All the best.

Maff.