I'm listening to this with headphones and I don't know too much about house, but I feel that you should have, instead of kick - clap, kick - clap you should have kick - snare, kick - snare, and maybe the snare should have some reverb to make the track sound more powerful, also the synth that starts at 1:13 sounds a little too one-dimensional, maybe have a different synth that filters in and out or some kind of automation, the melodies are really good and the idea is too and many things, take in to account I have headphones on and I don't know what this sounds like on a radio or in car or something like that, but I like the overall idea, and the melodies, and the vocal parts, and beat, this sounds like something that could be commercial
on Sparkle by jameswhistler