yeah i dig it and i had a nice lol session when when i read the title lol but i again i dig it however you do the same thing i do with the transitions like you want to get to the main part so fast that you kinda jump on it i dont really have any advice on how to deal with it cause I've never figured it out myself and sorry for the run on sentence i am also not a very good writer.
ciao
on a love story (i know you want me mix) by commanderjackhammer
ciao
XD
when ur emotionel ur head is as good as clean, so enough braincells to write on:P