For me, there are two things that make a song great. 1) It elicits emotion and 2) it paints a picture. I have no idea your level of musical training, but I can tell you that this song hit 1 and 2 straight on for me.
Starting with the story I see, I see a young girl stuck inside on a rainy day. She's sitting in front of a piano as the rain is pouring down outside. She sees the rain from her piano bench out a window and sadly begins playing this song. She plucks away at the song as best she can, with slight hesitations as she tries her best to make sure he hands are on the right keys. Behind her, the grey clouds fill the room, rain taps against the house, and thunder rumbles.
As far as the emotion, this song has so much in it. I feel sad for the girl since she is obviously confined indoors on a day that she so much wanted to spend outside running and playing. She wants to be free, but is confined. Yet, I feel happy for her also. She is using her piano to express herself. Maybe she knows that the song she is plucking out is an image of her current state. Maybe she doesn't. But her focused-ness yields satisfaction for her, and that makes me feel satisfied.
I dunno, maybe I am reaching, but this is how your song speaks to me emotionally and anecdotaly. I love it, and the sound of the thunder coming in precisely during the pauses is great. I don't know if you did this on purpose or not, but it's great! Cheers.
I'd have to disagree with crucethus on this one. I actually enjoyed the hesitant feel of the piano. It's different. All too often we hear songs that are so structured. This one is not, and I like that difference. The storm sounds were very relaxing. It's been a rough day for me today and this helped to wind me down. Lovely work for your first track, ama. I look forward to hearing more work. If theres one critique I can offer, I'd look more at playing with the delay on your system and try making it stereo to fill the space. Maybe adding a touch of stereo reverb will help silken up the piano as well. Anyhoo, great job on this. Much better than my first attempt! :)
Excellent first go! Beautiful piano with the thunder storm rolling in. I close me eyes and see a beautiful summer day rain gently falling, I open them and see a snow storm outside UGH! :D Freesound.org excellent site for sound samples for your future projects, rain, ambiences, ect. really any sound you could want. :D Welcome to looperman.
That's fabulous...our great Cru offered nearly everything what someone could so the easier way left for us...just to join your intro to Loopey...Agree with Ed, wish I had a quality one to start like thiswith all of it's mistake...I didn't read your page but I hope that the piano is played by you :-) The rain shower was a stunning idea...(maybe not through the whole track) Huge respect and welcome! (Are you a singer, maybe?) :-) Danke
Yes, piano is all me. :) I do sing. (sorta) I just don't feel like that's my strong point. I'm trying to expand all around so, I posted some acapellas because I figure at some point, I'll get comfortable with it. All the feedback is terrific. You guys are so helpful. :)
1st kick at the can...Well keep doing it because, it gets easier as you get down the road... The main objective of Music, is to make you dig deep into your soul and express your true feelings in side... I don't play anything that doesn't FEEL GOOD to me, I let people listen to it...But it's about what my soul is saying to me...Not what they need to hear...
We all started where you are now, NEVER QUIT because this is one bag that you will want to bring with you, for the rest of your life...
Hey Ama welcome to looperman...I'm still kind of a newbie on this site too with only 3 tracks out so far. I must say this was very pleasant to listen to. Love the piano playing and the rain and cricket sound effects made this even more interesting. Very good for your first production so keep up the good work! ^____^
Hi Marzipan...I think crucethus makes some really good points that will help you keep getting better...but I must say that you are off to a fine start...I could have never have done this the first time I produced a track...so please keep at it...you already know that music is a wonderful companion in life no matter whether you do it as a hobby or profesionally....and piano is a very expressive instrument that just fits so many musical genres....good for you..and thank you for sharing...Ed
Hi Ama. This is a nice small piece of work. I can feel the emotions of your playing here(live I think it is). Playing at your own pace without the dictation of a drum beat. And the rain etc adds to the overall emotions of the song, perhaps drowning your sorrows in the sweet tastes of Marzipans. Perhaps if you had lyrics/poem you could always add this later on.
Anyway welcome to the loop. Hoping to here more from you. Peace Ama. - B
first of all congratulations on producing or recording your first song on this site and that you chose to share with all of us. It takes courage and of course we all want feedback and encouragement from our fellow artists. So let me begin by saying that this is a nice mellow piano progression that you wrote. I would classify this as more chillout or cinematic music than ambient but that's neither here nor there at this point. I assume by the sound of the piano that you mic'd your self playing it and dubbed over storm and summer ambiance sounds on the work. I would like you to re-record this and work on the rhythm of it, some chords you hesitate and it's obvious in the metering of this work. The chord progression is beautiful though and an excellent piece of writing. Minor keys are always so emotional sounding. If I were to expand this I would think about writing a cello part and adding some strong synth pads that grow as the song builds. (Danke is the master at creating warm inviting pad loops on this site, you should check out his selection). Overall keep working at this one as it has great potential. And welcome. Cru
Thank you for all this great info! It was all played in via midi input from my keyboard. I used all software sounds and effects. I went back and forth with the timing, whether it should be straight on or a bit hesitant but, you are not the first to point this out so I will def address it. Ill check out what Danke has and work on building it more. Again thank you. :)
Commented on Marzipan by amaTheArtist
so amazingly beautiful..
Commented on Marzipan by amaTheArtist
Still listening to this one. Really a lovely piece. Thanks for this from the bottom of my heart.
ER
Commented on Marzipan by amaTheArtist
For me, there are two things that make a song great. 1) It elicits emotion and 2) it paints a picture. I have no idea your level of musical training, but I can tell you that this song hit 1 and 2 straight on for me.
Starting with the story I see, I see a young girl stuck inside on a rainy day. She's sitting in front of a piano as the rain is pouring down outside. She sees the rain from her piano bench out a window and sadly begins playing this song. She plucks away at the song as best she can, with slight hesitations as she tries her best to make sure he hands are on the right keys. Behind her, the grey clouds fill the room, rain taps against the house, and thunder rumbles.
As far as the emotion, this song has so much in it. I feel sad for the girl since she is obviously confined indoors on a day that she so much wanted to spend outside running and playing. She wants to be free, but is confined. Yet, I feel happy for her also. She is using her piano to express herself. Maybe she knows that the song she is plucking out is an image of her current state. Maybe she doesn't. But her focused-ness yields satisfaction for her, and that makes me feel satisfied.
I dunno, maybe I am reaching, but this is how your song speaks to me emotionally and anecdotaly. I love it, and the sound of the thunder coming in precisely during the pauses is great. I don't know if you did this on purpose or not, but it's great! Cheers.
Commented on Marzipan by amaTheArtist
I'd have to disagree with crucethus on this one. I actually enjoyed the hesitant feel of the piano. It's different. All too often we hear songs that are so structured. This one is not, and I like that difference. The storm sounds were very relaxing. It's been a rough day for me today and this helped to wind me down. Lovely work for your first track, ama. I look forward to hearing more work. If theres one critique I can offer, I'd look more at playing with the delay on your system and try making it stereo to fill the space. Maybe adding a touch of stereo reverb will help silken up the piano as well. Anyhoo, great job on this. Much better than my first attempt! :)
ER
Commented on Marzipan by amaTheArtist
this is nice ..but i was waiting for your asinging on it !
your acapellas showed me you sing finely .
:)
good job .
Commented on Marzipan by amaTheArtist
Excellent first go! Beautiful piano with the thunder storm rolling in. I close me eyes and see a beautiful summer day rain gently falling, I open them and see a snow storm outside UGH! :D Freesound.org excellent site for sound samples for your future projects, rain, ambiences, ect. really any sound you could want. :D Welcome to looperman.
Commented on Marzipan by amaTheArtist
Hello ama!
That's fabulous...our great Cru offered nearly everything what someone could so the easier way left for us...just to join your intro to Loopey...Agree with Ed, wish I had a quality one to start like thiswith all of it's mistake...I didn't read your page but I hope that the piano is played by you :-)
The rain shower was a stunning idea...(maybe not through the whole track)
Huge respect and welcome!
(Are you a singer, maybe?) :-)
Danke
Commented on Marzipan by amaTheArtist
1st kick at the can...Well keep doing it because, it gets easier
as you get down the road...
The main objective of Music, is to make you dig deep into your
soul and express your true feelings in side...
I don't play anything that doesn't FEEL GOOD to me, I let people
listen to it...But it's about what my soul is saying to me...Not what
they need to hear...
We all started where you are now, NEVER QUIT because this is one
bag that you will want to bring with you, for the rest of your life...
Have Fun, and get it done...
Peace...TG.
Commented on Marzipan by amaTheArtist
Hey Ama welcome to looperman...I'm still kind of a newbie on this site too with only 3 tracks out so far. I must say this was very pleasant to listen to. Love the piano playing and the rain and cricket sound effects made this even more interesting. Very good for your first production so keep up the good work! ^____^
Commented on Marzipan by amaTheArtist
Hi Marzipan...I think crucethus makes some really good points that will help you keep getting better...but I must say that you are off to a fine start...I could have never have done this the first time I produced a track...so please keep at it...you already know that music is a wonderful companion in life no matter whether you do it as a hobby or profesionally....and piano is a very expressive instrument that just fits so many musical genres....good for you..and thank you for sharing...Ed
Commented on Marzipan by amaTheArtist
Hi Ama. This is a nice small piece of work. I can feel the emotions of your playing here(live I think it is). Playing at your own pace without the dictation of a drum beat. And the rain etc adds to the overall emotions of the song, perhaps drowning your sorrows in the sweet tastes of Marzipans. Perhaps if you had lyrics/poem you could always add this later on.
Anyway welcome to the loop. Hoping to here more from you. Peace Ama. - B
Commented on Marzipan by amaTheArtist
first of all congratulations on producing or recording your first song on this site and that you chose to share with all of us. It takes courage and of course we all want feedback and encouragement from our fellow artists. So let me begin by saying that this is a nice mellow piano progression that you wrote. I would classify this as more chillout or cinematic music than ambient but that's neither here nor there at this point. I assume by the sound of the piano that you mic'd your self playing it and dubbed over storm and summer ambiance sounds on the work. I would like you to re-record this and work on the rhythm of it, some chords you hesitate and it's obvious in the metering of this work. The chord progression is beautiful though and an excellent piece of writing. Minor keys are always so emotional sounding. If I were to expand this I would think about writing a cello part and adding some strong synth pads that grow as the song builds. (Danke is the master at creating warm inviting pad loops on this site, you should check out his selection). Overall keep working at this one as it has great potential. And welcome.
Cru