thanks for your comment bro, it was a lot to share and thankfully i control IT now as apposed to it controlling me, i was feeling low when i wrote this and just spoke my feelings, my recent in featured is along these lines too but its a more positive approach, a cause im proud to promote too

thanks Manu

its the best outlook to have Manuela, only me can save me, ive got close friends and family that keep me on track. im not mad just have a lot of emotional anger. im strong, dont feel sorry for me, just be a positive for me and dont ever be afraid to say anything thanks for your support. tell your hubby sister and the rest of the guys its you all as a group i appreciate and enjoy, but its nice to have a sensitve person to communicate with and i love a community player too. dont be sad too, mines locked inside i try not to show it in real life :))

Thanks for a cool response DOOM, your right what you say, I am all for sharing and caring these days, i wasn't always but there has to be a balance, we don't want everything twee. I'm a big fan of debate too, love people putting their point across weather I agree with it or not, it's all about compromise, as you say though the clever people are not liked, people see it as smugness they think their too clever at times and that leads to chaos and confusion. Here in the UK our politicians get around 82 thousand pound of tax payers money to represent us, have you seen parliament on BBC. They just sit there mumbling answering questions with questions and the other half are usually sleeping, I and any other regular person would be dismissed from our positions if we done that, they campaign on a manifesto that has no credibility whatsoever, because once they get the victory, the manifesto changes and the promises disappear, politicians are not my cup off tea, they are in it to serve themselves first and foremost in their saville row suits and painted on smiles. Lobbying and paid advocacy is corrupt it's always been that way, they know the dangers but still do it get kicked out and the c#nts are back within a month, Johnston and his cronies tried to change this last week, well that backfired horrendously on them, they will pay a price at election time be assured. One rule for them and one rule for us. It stinks. Remember the expenses scandal, tax payers money used to pay for things as gross as having the moat around there castle cleaned when there's people starving and living in poverty because of their fucking decisions, and yes your right there is a structure to government but most get it woefully wrong

Thanks so much T, your right brother we're living in very dangerous times, and yes we are ALL guilty of taking things for granted. We get one chance at life unless you believe in reincarnation, but we don't do a good job of it tbf, we've be fighting all our lives, remember it was a scrap and a half just to get here, we were the strongest then and we have to be strong now too, and keep fighting injustice wherever it is unfair

Rat a tat tat back, I know everybodies head feels like that at times, that's life struggles mate, hope your doing great, as I do your whole family. Much love from me here in the uk

Thanks Matthias, I appreciate you bruder, surprised it me, I'm the same person you see, just a little more truth, about me, I've nothing to hide, I don't wish to anyway, life's been tough but I'll keep going, music won't let me stop now anyway and I'd miss you guys too. Take care bruder tougher restrictions are heading your way

I'm fully supportive of you Rita, in the UK we've been lucky our NHS national health service is free vaccinations are not mandatory and uptake has been good, 22 percent and rising as apposed to the European average of just 6 I'm fully vaccinated and will have the booster, more to appease my parents family and friends, this virus was no accident, there I've said it, it was introduced to control us the trump's bidens Johnson's mercals and macrons etc they don't deserve capital letters to their names promised us all a better life, they haven't delivered they can't deliver, so an outbreak was created to take our minds of the real issues poverty,racism, children going without, starvation mass exodus from certain countries, and climate change all far more important in my opinion. How people can be starving in the 21 st century is beyond me, we throw away copious amounts of fresh food and vegatables just because the supermarkets think it resembles a cock and balls, or things like, it's getting cut up anyway you f#cking fools, I shake my head in dismay, who the fuck would put bananas in a plastic bag, they've got a big coat on, Tesco do then blame us for plastic over use f#cking stupid, and little miss Greta wants to go back to school, blaming our generation, we walked to school recycled glass bottles and sweets come in paper bags stuck together. Stop flying round the world talking shit adding to YOUR generations carbon footprint you fucking hypocrite go and have your happy meal with your plastic fucking toy you patronising twat....and breath rant over. Take care my European friends they want to control you

Thanks for such strong support Steven, I'm a proud man, and although I may at times appear to be confident it really is a smoke screen, but the most important thing I learnt was admitting it to myself, that's it really. For years I never shared what was happening, when I did I realized that was a mistake, reach out be proud, you've nothing to be embarrassed about, your not the only one suffering. Sometimes when I'm in big crowds I look around at peoples face and think, what are you really thinking. The support here on LM has been super impressive, I know others will suffer a similar fate, so talk about it, get it of your chest. Credit to you for giving your partner the vital support needed, I had that with my X wife, I just done too many other things that caused too much damage. I've abused myself with many drugs to null the feelings I have, I have been on anti depressants, that do more damage than good. I'm proud I have turned this around. I've never taken medication for 20 years now, not even paracetamol. Yeh I do smoke a joint for relaxation, it's the only thing I use, its a God given medicine, I don't get stoned. I smoked 30 cigerretts a day on top of my drug intake I now smoke 6-7 with a couple of joints on an evening. My doctor said he wants me to pack the cigs all together, told me they are killing me bad chest etc, but said that cannabis isn't. It's not everyone's way, it to can have an impact on thought if you let it control you. I will get there eventually, the pain will be there until the day I die, I have excepted this, so it really is down to me now to make the right choices and descions, sharing was my hardest I admit, raising awareness is not, I'm there for anyone, that needs my help, I will embrace them and tell them they're not alone, I'm right beside you, just call when TOU need to

Thank you so much lovely lady I'm chugging along just fine now, doing the things I like, keeps mind thought positive. You want to see me catching my breath between moves, age is creeping up. Also I see some horrible things happening in Rotterdam on the news, so sorry for my European friends, please take care, COVID is dictating decisions, but to see police shooting people is not right, we all live under dictataship these days, although they say different. Please stay safe Rita

Thanks Rita, I am a little mixed like my genre selections, so trying to do things with a little substance of late. I've been surprised by people's reactions and feel comfortable now that my friends are supportive. If you had seen me at 12-15 you would have very surprised, I was partial paralyzed down my left had side my leg faced inwards and my arm was bent with my hand by my shoulder the result of my accident, my family were told I'd be brain damaged it took almost 3 years off hard work and many tears to recover along with 2hrs hospital physio 3 times a week and my dad never gave me a break made me continually squeeze a sponge ball and walk up and down the stairs constantly it killed him to have to do this to me I lost 2 1/2 years of schooling, he's my hero dad, always will be, to see me now you would never have a clue to where I've been

Thanks Wayne, I am good to be fair. About to become a grandfather again a granddaughter this time, so I'll have both, I feel lucky. That's what my life's about now, concentrating on things that leave me feeling good, my grandkids, music and dance, dancing has always been my only escape, when I dance I don't see anybody it's just me, yes I know people are watching but I never see or feel like I can see or here them so never have any fear, its always been the one place I feel totally alone my special place a place I go to for solace, you have to have guts to rock up to a popular part of the city set your camera and stuff up in the street and just start dancing, but now the music and this community has become part of this too, I can only thank you all for that and making me feel like I fit right in. I'll keep doing me and fight the demons, I won't let them totally ruin my life, I'm going to be stubborn with it, show it I'm the boss now, 15 rounds, I've trained for a life time I'll go as many as it takes if it helps

Thanks Ian you are a good friend my longest here, someone I've exchanged private mails with and also someone who is a trained listener, we've glossed over things and along with the guys here you've always encouraged me, this community is a must for me the creativity beggars believe and stimulates me I never expected the friendships I've made. When I became a grandfather 16 months ago I concentrated on that, started to dance more and started to produce music. I always want to be truthful to myself and write things that I've experienced, not made up words that have no substance I feel comfortable sharing this as it builds awareness and gives others struggling at times to reach out and share, thanks for the warm words of support, people run from this true friends dont

Gracias por una publicacin tan hermosa, Roberto, realmente no me siento como si fuera diferente a todos los dems aqu, solo trato de ser real y dejar que todos sepan que a veces me enfrento a problemas. He aprendido a controlarlo mucho mejor con la edad, pero a veces puede paralizarme emocionalmente y tengo que apartarme de todos para recuperar la compostura. Empec a hablar sobre la injusticia, de las cuales hay muchas, apoyo, cualquier amigo que siento que necesita mi apoyo, soy leal y fiel. He cometido muchos errores en la vida y creo que a veces he pecado y tengo que devolver estas cosas.Creo en el karma y que las cosas suceden por una razn, incluso si no nos gusta el resultado, no soy religioso en absoluto, creo que la ciencia y las matemticas darte las respuestas, pero no tengo ningn problema con las personas que encuentran el solicio en las escrituras religiosas, esa es su manera, la ma es diferente, todos tenemos nuestra propia manera, lo que sea mejor porque es TU eleccin, luchar para proteger a las personas cercanas a m y abrazar a cualquiera que necesite un hombro. Me considero un conjunto de huellas silenciosas que no estn delante de la gua ni detrs para atraparte si te caes, sino a tu lado, si alguna vez necesitas llamar, amar y respetar a todos, es la nica manera, nuestros polticos no ofrecen ayuda en absoluto. slo se suma a la miseria y todos hablan tonteras y mienten acerca de hacer lo correcto. ahora a todos mis amigos que luchan en europa con el covid epedemic Pases Bajos Austria Alemania problemas reales los apoyo de todo corazn por favor mantnganse a salvo, todos festejaremos de nuevo, cranme

Hey mate I'm just about to retire, we spoke about this issue and I know you have strong feelings to about awareness, but this only come about because of you. I'd always wanted to write about it and why I have issues the hard truthful reasons, when you sent the mp3 I was like hmmm thought provoking keys Maj, then the snare, nice, soon as the coin tap started, I went that's my mental health picked up my pen and pad and started writing, I spoke to you the following day told you what I'd added, but wasn't happy with the vox placement or the quality, so tweaked a few words and re done it. I wanted this to be right, it was all about the subject for me and raising awareness I may have over done it a smidge on the reverb though, that's mental for you :)))

Thank you Ella, I only really started to come out just over a year ago, it was refreshing, I still hurt but was inspired by positivity. This community has played a huge part in this I've made great friends, virtual, but friends nonethelesd and we all have the same love and passion MUSIC. Thanks for the part your playing, and in response to you comment back to me on your track, I understand you on that genre tends not to do vocals but stealing the vocal from Maj's ocean view track ft Sara on a mission to not be like them. One thing LM will teach you is dare to be different, be a leader Ella, don't follow the sheep. You've impressed me since your arrival, others too judging by the comments, well done sweet lady, I'm sure you'll blow me away soon just like our Rita and her savage beats

Thanks Chris the lyrics are up, I think it's probably a good decision we talk fast and our accent although classed as one of the more pleasant is difficult to understand at times, but I give a bit away here everything is true the emotion can be overpowering at times and leaves me feeling shattered. Ive had tough times that leave scars but I'm not a bad person for it I always try to luck on the positive side of things no matter tough things get, I'm alive

Ella I've put them up for you and others too. I'll wait for your comment on them, thanks for listening it means a lot you wanting to know the words to better understand

Thanks Mark, it's very expressive but like I say I'm not hiding anymore, I've nothing to be ashamed of, I have an issue and I deal with it. It's a big part of me, Ive been through some tough times, real tough, they leave scars.
It's that word MENTAL that scares most people, I'm a good guy have good morals and know right from wrong. I've sinned, haven't we all, but the message I'm trying to give to others who may have an issue is doing the things that make YOU happy, stop trying to please others, stop worrying about things that don't effect your life, don't be afraid, share it, it will never take away the hurt but it helps lighten the load, you'll then find out who your true friends are