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  1. 248878
    C69 : Thu 8th Apr 2010 : 9 years ago

    Well what I have done that is in the least bit interesting?

    1. I imported some of the first IBM PCs into the UK.
    2. I have appeared on UK TV three times.
    3. I turned down a major record deal once because I thought a better deal was around the corner (and it wasn't).
    4. I used to race powerboats.
    5. I am bald.

    Doesn't amount to much but I had fun on the way!


  2. 636839
    simmerdown : Thu 8th Apr 2010 : 9 years ago

    I wont embarrass you all by stating my IQ here...

    But, i have another story

    In '94/'95 i volunteered for US Fish and Game to go to Laysan Island and work to eradicate an invading plant species. Laysan is one of the westernmost Hawaiin islands, 800 milles from Honolulu, so 'out there' that most Hawaiians have never heard of it! It is 1.5 miles across, 3 miles north to south, you can walk the beach in a full circle in about two hours..

    There was only one other person there, and we had one resupply (and mail run) from the Coast Guard after 4 months. Before leaving they let us buy whatever (non perishable ) foods we wanted, we spent almost $ 7,000 at the health food store. It was actually easier to keep everyone happy than have to send a rescue ship!

    So, there were 3 million nesting seabirds (actually more, i'm rounding), nesting sea turtles, and Hawaiian monk seals (one of their only breeding islands). My days were spent circling the island with backpack sprayers, trying to get rid of this plant that interferes with the nesting of certain bird species, especially the Laysan albatross. She was/is an Ornithologist, studying the albatross, and the indigenous Laysan duck. There were so many nesting birds of different kinds, so close together, that we were literally stepping over them to do this work. We even had one nest on the welcome mat of our tent( there are no permanent structures there) , and had to step over her 10 times a day!

    The nights were unreal, this is possibly one of the best nightsky viewing spots in the world, 800 miles to the nearest city. This was when the comet Hayakutaki was in full zenith (anyone remember that?). It was so purely dark that the tail spanned 3/4 of the entire sky, this is not an exaggerration, i'll never forget it.

    6 months turned out to be too short, it was truly a paradise, perfect isolation, very hard to leave.

    And that one other person?... This year will be our 14th wedding anniversary. And she is amazing, beautiful, and my best friend.

  3. 636839
    simmerdown : Thu 8th Apr 2010 : 9 years ago


  4. 189474
    ImproveWithError : Thu 8th Apr 2010 : 9 years ago

    dungbeatl very cool story, I enjoyed reading it, sounds like a very cool time, and you met your wife like that is pretty cool.

  5. 636839
    simmerdown : Fri 9th Apr 2010 : 9 years ago

    Yes thanks IWE

    i always forget the smiley faces, that first IQ comment was just a bit of a joke, im actually pretty slow on the uptake..

    agreeing with Coney and n0mad about that kind of stuff and trying to get this Very Nice thread back on topic...

  6. 247253
    n0mad23 : Fri 9th Apr 2010 : 9 years ago

    I'll give you all a funny one, and try to keep it as short as is possible.

    The setup:
    I worked in a law firm in downtown Seattle, Washington, USA and was having a particularly bad Winter day at work. I decided to go down the street 3 blocks to my favorite espresso kiosk to get away for 15 minutes. It was a particularly nasty day, and the pouring rain was made worse by the howling winds channeled between the skyscrapers.

    The kiosk wasn't there because the weather was just too bad. I decided to go to a Starbucks (this is when there were less than 50) that was 3 blocks in the other direction, and two uphill from where I was. I knew that I'd be pushing my 15 minute break by doing this, but there was no way I was going back without a straight shot.

    Sure enough, when I made it back to the intersection 1/2 block from the building I was working in, I had less than 2 minutes to be back at my post. This place was very strict, and the paralegal with the least hours worked in a month was let go every 30 days. Working on the 47th floor meant factoring in the elevator ride as well.

    Below the street I needed to cross was a bus tunnel project that had been underway for several years. Because of the underground construction, 1/2 of the street was blocked off with concrete barriers, narrowing the street from 4 lanes down to 2.

    I walked out to the concrete barriers and looked both ways for traffic and decided to walk across the red light. When I was only half way across the 2 lanes, I heard the motorcycle start down at the next intersection. A motorcycle cop was hiding behind a construction sign!

    Two weeks earlier, jay-walking tickets had gone up to $140 dollars to nip this sort of crime once and for all in the city. The police man grinned at me and pulled out onto the lane heading my way.

    I made a split second decision and took off running. I crossed the street and then ran as fast as I could the direction away from my office building, crossing the intersection again. The wind was howling and water pouring, and my trench-coat came unbuttoned and was flying behind me like a cape. All the while, I had my little paper cup held out extended, moving it with every leap to keep that black stuff inside it.

    The motorcycle roared up behind me when I was less than 100 feet down the street. I planted my feet and spun and ran the other way, catching the officer's very confused eyes as I went by. He recovered quickly and sped down to the next intersection where he had room to turn around.

    By the time I reached the intersection, the light was against me again, but I ran as fast as I could through it and dashed for the skyscraper 1/2 block away. I could hear the motorcycle turn around and race back towards me. I could hear him stop at the red light as he looked for the break in traffic to pursue me. All the while I was silently calculating just how close it was going to be.

    And then I was at the revolving doors leading into the lobby, and the motorcycle was skidding to a stop behind me. His yell was mostly cut off as I made it to the marble tiled lobby and all I could think was "please let there be an elevator waiting!"

    I dashed to the bank, and could hear the hard soled boots clacking now inside the lobby. Yes - an elevator at the far side is there, but the doors are already closing. The cop yells something. I keep running - but - I'm - not - going to - make it. Suddenly a hand emerges and stops the doors from closing. I leap inside and see the police man in my peripheral vision now. He yells "Stop right there!" The guy at the door is slapping the "close" button like a pinball paddle. The doors close just as the motorcycle cop arrives.

    The dude at the door is in his forties and wearing a suit that cost more than $1000 - he's a senior partner at the firm I work for. He laughs and says, "That was f***ing awesome! Why the f*** did you run? I would have never thought of that! I was right behind you at the intersection. We both would have got tickets if you hadn't bolted like that! That's the f***ing funniest thing I've seen in years! Thank you!"

    I didn't spill any of my espresso, though it had cooled considerably during the chase.

    For the next two years, every time my path crossed with said motorcycle cop, he always wagged his finger at me. And I always looked around like I had no idea who he was pointing to.

  7. 636839
    simmerdown : Fri 9th Apr 2010 : 9 years ago


  8. 62363
    OneVizun : Fri 9th Apr 2010 : 9 years ago

    LOLOLOL!!!!! that should be made into a short film nomad! lolol.

  9. 71369
    Unknown User : Fri 9th Apr 2010 : 9 years ago

    Hello Looperfam!

    This is actually a very interesting thread, good job with the idea Bilbozo. So... uh... I guess I will have to share a "secret" with you guys, since I started typing this post... he he. So... probably a lot of you, or maybe everybody, might not know where I'm from (now you probably are all thinking: I might not know, but I can see it on your profile page... he he), but what I really mean is where I really am from, I mean in my point of view. So... (drum rolls begin! Just kidding) although, as it says in my profile page, I'm from Montreal, Canada, I actually consider myself as portuguese... he he. You heard me, portuguese. Now the reason for that is just because of the following: As I was still months older, my parents that are originally from Portugal decided to move back to their home country, for certain reasons, so they moved plus me and my brother from Canada back to Portugal, and since then both me and my brother, although born in Montreal, Canada, have lived the rest of our lives in what we consider our home country, Portugal... he he. There you go, my bio (kinda). Now I live in Edmonton, Canada, and I'm healthy and, I wouldn't say happy, but almost. Oh well... c'est la vie, c'est la vie or àa vida... he he. Anyway, that's my "secret" and thanks Looperfam for all the support and kindness of you. Take care everybody!


  10. 285149
    vigwig : Fri 9th Apr 2010 : 9 years ago

    Well, this calls for the painting of green shamrocks story.
    The set up: Everybody knew we engineers painted the campus green during Engineer's Week. It was tradition, same as serenading the business school during class by singing ribald stanzas to the Engineer's song, and sitting in the student union non-chalantly in our groadiest get up. One year they put a skunk in the business school building.

    Enter Vic, known throughout the school as VD (my initials). My senior year I decided to paint the campus green myself as the tradition clashed with everybody else's plans for the night. I sat on a bench with a can of oil-base paint to paint green shamrocks all over every glass window I could find. A watchman sat with me, tacit approving of my plans. Better wait till after 10 he said. So I went home to return at 10.

    I came back at 10 and was calmly painting shamrocks on the windows of the Science & Engineering Building when a guard approached on a Cushman. "What're you doing?" "I'm painting green shamrocks." What a stupid question, I thought. But he wasn't done. "You'll have to wipe that off!" he exclaimed. I used my moth-eaten gloves to wipe off a shamrock. Lucky he didn't see the other side of the building.

    "We're gonna have to go to the maintenance building so I can call the police," he said. I trudged along afoot while he was on the Cushman. I toted the open can of paint (no lid) and my paint brush. Eventually we came to a fork in the sidewalk. One way led to certain ignominy, the other way to freedom. I took off running across the grass, jumping hedges and knee high chains meant to keep people on the sidewalk. I was just coming to a hedge when he yelled "Stop, or I'll shoot!" I didn't even turn around as I kept running and yelled back, "Then you better shoot because I ain't stopping!" Expecting bullets to zing around me, I ran all the way back to my apartment. None did.

    I creeped back around midnight, only to see a Cushman cruising around without lights headed my way. I skulked back to my apartment to hide out till 2 am. I returned again, he was still patrolling on his Cushman w/o lights.

    I skulked back around 3 am and he was gone. I was just finishing a few last windows behind a bunch of bushes when here he comes up the sidewalk. I hid in the dark in the bushes as he stopped to look at the doors to the student union. Shamrocks, my initals VD and BFD and EC were everywhere. He just hung his head and shook it sadly and drove back to his building. For you neophytes, BFD stands for Big F----g Deal and Ec stands for either enjoy COORS or Engineer's Club.

    I liked the jay-walking great escape, it just reminded me of my shenanigans.

  11. 247253
    n0mad23 : Sat 10th Apr 2010 : 9 years ago

    @vigwig - The green shamrocks story is AWESOME!

    Must have had the imp of the perverse whispering in your ear that night.

    I vote we post more shenanigan stories. It's a blast reading things that make you laugh out loud!

  12. 285149
    vigwig : Sun 11th Apr 2010 : 9 years ago

    Like the time I was working at a chemical plant here annd was always provoking a guy in the labor gang. One day I was arguing with him and he got madder and madder and finally I said, "You wanna step outside?" He growled back, "Yeah!" I sad okay and held the door for him. When he stepped outside I closed the dooor after him and locked it! I had to run back to the office and didn't come out till it was time to go home. He got over it.

  13. 54911
    Jpipes24 : Sun 11th Apr 2010 : 9 years ago

    I was filming a skate video when I was trying to get sponsored and came of the grind rail and got hit by a Honda civic going about 35mph. Was knocked unconscience and the car got more messed up than I did... lol

  14. 247253
    n0mad23 : Sun 11th Apr 2010 : 9 years ago

    I'll give up an early childhood shenanigan tale.

    Flashback to 1969 and Yaounde, Cameroon and the American/Joint Embassy School there. The school was about 45 minutes from the American Embassy (and on grounds leased by said embassy) and the political situation was a bit tense. President Ahidjo was dictator for life and all wireless communication devices were illegal unless owned by the government.

    Because of the ongoing threat of civil war or coups, the American Embassy had hidden a two way radio at the school where my father was Principal, Superintendent, and taught grades 5 through 12 in a single class.

    One day after school, as my parents' finished up their duties I was doing what many 8 year old boys do - playing games with imaginary characters. On this day, I was playing that I was holding off a horde of angry revolutionaries who wanted to take the school kids hostage. At some point, single handedly holding off the mob with a stick that was in fact a machete, I made a break for it and ran into my father's empty classroom. There, sitting behind the desk was that metal box radio with a receiver just like an old telephone!

    I didn't know how the unit worked, but was sure you had to flip that one switch to turn it on. Being a rather gregarious kid, I had overhead all the verbal codes that were to be used in an emergency. I grabbed the receiver and in a tense voice I hissed, "Junkyard, Junkyard this is Cobra. They're trying to kill everyone here!"

    To my horror, over the receiver came a frantic voice saying, "Cobra this is Junkyard. What the hell is going on?"

    I slammed the receiver back into its metal clip with such enthusiasm that my palm got pinched between the handle and the clip. In my panic, I ripped my hand free giving myself the biggest blood blister I've had before or since. Then I bolted as fast as my little legs could go straight for the 8 foot chain link fence and then over it. I didn't slow down until I was several hundred yards into the jungle.

    There I waited. And waited. And then waited some more. Finally I figured that there were no consequences coming, so I returned to the school. Twenty minutes later, I had forgotten the whole thing.

    Then the Jeep and the limousine arrived, and 6 guys in black suits and equally black sunglasses, each with a buzz cut climbed out as my father greeted them. You can be sure that my stomach had dropped at least 500 feet below ground level.

    A shouting match ensued, and I could hear my dad yelling, "He's 8 years old, there's no way in hell I'm letting the CIA take him in for questioning! You talk to me!"

    Yes, my first confrontation with authority outside my parents was with the CIA. I'm not sure my attitude towards authority has ever recovered, but I still feel grateful that my dad stood up to them on my behalf!

  15. 344637
    ParkerMusic : Sun 11th Apr 2010 : 9 years ago

    I am a professional dart player, my dog understands spanish and my cat is from hell!

    @Vizun Thank You for your service and I am sorry for your loss. I'm ex Air Force myself.

  16. 364618
    Unknown User : Sun 11th Apr 2010 : 9 years ago

    @ Nomad.. that post had me hooked my friend. You really have a way with words. I was you as an 8 year old for a couple of minutes reading that.. What a fascinating story. Have you thought about writing your memoirs? actually, 8 in 1969.. that would make you 49 depending on month of birth.. soo give it a few years and you will be raking it in. let me know when it is complete : )

  17. 285149
    vigwig : Mon 12th Apr 2010 : 9 years ago

    In the summer if 1964 I went home for the summer to visit my parents and my younger brother and sister. You do the math, I was 19 years old. After 18, my father's company policy was to pay transportation "home" for college students twice before the age of 23. I went home twice: 1964 and 1966.

    In 1964 they lived in Torremolinos, Spain. Legend had it that Frank Sinatra had once been asked to leave there after some indiscretion. It was a Spanish equivalent of Galveston with it's granite sand (black) beaches and tourist trade.

    After I had been there a short while, a girl struck up a friendship with me as she had known of me and pined for me since when her family was on assignment to Cartagena, Colombia when mine was in Barrancabermeja, Colombia. We got real chummy, pub crawling, swimming at the beach, riding paddle boats, dancing the night away in general. Focus, I gotta stay focused as this reminded me of another story.

    One morning I was at her house visiting (what else was there to do, we had no TV, few friends and no places like YMCA or that) and we were sitting on the sofa in the living room. Her mother could be seen through a doorway as she bustled about with loads of clothes to be washed.

    At one point, for some unexplained reason, as I held her hand in mine I smelled something good, like perfume. I sniffed her hand and was sniffing my way up her arm to her shoulder when her mother walked by. She came back by and asked her daughter to come in the other room. As I innocently waited on the sofa she left and came back a few moments later, only to sit in a parlor chair. Taken aback as there was no room to sit beside her, I asked her why she didn't sit by me on the sofa.

    She allowed as how her mother told her she mustn't sit on the sofa with me any more. We passed the time awkwardly until lunchtime when I walked home. When I got there, my mother took me aside to tell me that this girl's mother had called her to complain that I was at her house, in broad daylight, sitting on the sofa with her daughter and like a Lothario, I was kissing up her arm. I laughed my head off, just a-cackling at the mental image she must have had. I explained I was just sniffing up her arm, but the damage was done and it was to no avail. She looked at me differently thereafter. A week or 2 later another girl was visiting me and ma had to go out. She kicked us both out before she left so I wouldn't subject another flower of feminine pulchritude to brazen acts of wild affection. No amount of 'xplaining would suffice to keep us there while she left. It was a rueful laugh I laughed this time.

  18. 439229
    mrE : Mon 12th Apr 2010 : 9 years ago

    one time i was walking up broadway in nyc and i noticed the little guy from hall and oates walking in my direction and i went up to him and said " hey dude im a huge fan" and he said
    " @uck off" lol it was kinda funny... i still remember his little beady eyes as he said it "@uck off " lol

  19. 636839
    simmerdown : Mon 12th Apr 2010 : 9 years ago


    better and better

    weve got Kandinsky and Dali in one thread!

    i've got (one of) my brush with death tales coming, has to do with that Laysan trip, but i need to write it out...

  20. 372886
    Bilbozo : Mon 12th Apr 2010 : 9 years ago

    You got the last laugh Ern. Check out the latest pic of him. Oh you are John Oates you say? My friend Ern has a couple of words for you Mr. Washed-up Hotshot.


  21. 636839
    simmerdown : Thu 29th Apr 2010 : 9 years ago

    Brush with death and general misery stories always seem to go over well,lol

    This is the prelude to my Laysan Island story above, the voyage there

    We left Honolulu at about ten at night, while still in sight of the city lights i started to feel a bit funny, a few minutes later i had 'lost' my bon voyage dinner and was pretty much reeling with seasickness. I'm still not sure if they were playing me, but the crew suggested i climb the little
    lookout tower above the wheelhouse, much like a lifeguards lookout. (This was a 50', fibreglass hulled fishing boat, btw, The Golden Eagle (ha) chartered for this trip) There, they said, instead of the mild rocking, i would be swaying 10 ft in either direction, 'better that way'...no, i barely
    made it back down again

    Day 2 (of four expected) we got word of a huge storm coming in from the west,( the way we were headed) and it was decided we would pull off at Kuai (rad, i was a mess already) last big island before much open sea, and our destination. Good thing, the storm was huge, record rain, wind etc. and even on land it was pretty sketchy. We had to stay three days to ride it out( i could write a whole tale about that too, amazing ,magical place), long enough to feel ok, but enough also to dread
    getting back on the boat.

    We knew there was another front to the storm coming as we left Kuai, but we were on a schedule and budget etc,and we had 2 National Geographic photographers with us on an even tighter schedule...so we set out, 600+ miles still to go. Needless to say i was a wreck within 20 minutes, by the next day when we got slammed by the second stormfront i couldnt even keep water down, there was the begining of 'the bad part'.

    The storm was indescribable in words really. But, 30+ft swells, belting rain and by the end of it, all the crew and passengers were pretty much thinking we were done for. We had the
    life preservers piled up in the middle of the galley floor, ready to be grabbed if the hull (fibreglass remember, never made for this!) failed, which all acknowledged was a real possibility.

    We also knew that the preservers would do no good, we were 300 miles from any where in a November gail, no one would have survived long from hypothermia. I could barely come on deck at all at this point, i was so exhausted, dehyrated, all i could do was lay on my bunk and ride along as we crested each massive swell, then smashed down on the other side. There was water dripping from the edge of the bunk above and it only increased over the next 20 hours, during which i expected the hull to
    spit and the water to rush in at any second. This was the slow motion near-death part, i had so much time to imagine the end, and it was for real.

    We were making almost no forward progress, if the captain (by now also looking quite greenish grey) had not stayed awake for 3 days (counting? we're at 6 now, think- Gilligan!) and just one of those waves had hit us broadside instead of him steering straight into them, it was game over. Two full days and nights of this, then, like in a movie, we awoke to clear skies,and only rolling waves. So, out of the thick,and alive, but still seasick beyond description. I'm talking hallucinatory now.

    Some blurry amount of time later, 1 night? 2? idk, we caught sight of Laysan, it was morning as i recall. From sea level level it looks like a thin sliver of green and sand, only about twenty feet above the water line at its highest. Birds. Swirling everywhere above, on the ground,everywhere one looked.

    Now, the torturous fact that we have to wait to go ashore, there is only one small channel between the reefs for a zodiac and the seas were again to high to go in safely. Two more days we waited with our destination in sight. Sitting in the galley it looked just like a Popeye cartoon, where the horizon line wobbles up and down in the windowframe, all sky,all sea,all sky, all sea at about 23 bpm, heinous considering my state already. I seriously thought about trying to swim the 100 yards to shore.

    When finally we a were brought on land i knew what it felt like for those we've all heard about who kiss the ground and lift up the sand in handfulls. After two days of landsickness (inner ear trying to reorient itself, like when you (i) get off a long elevator ride, just as bad,lol, as the sea for me!) it was all ok.

    On to one of the best 6 months of my life.

  22. 636839
    simmerdown : Thu 29th Apr 2010 : 9 years ago

    do i get a pze fo rthe biggest typo ever, wtf??

    trust me, accidental there

  23. 357283
    Marius9 : Thu 29th Apr 2010 : 9 years ago

    ...I'll never mention me making long posts again, lol.

  24. 177447
    AnomalyJ : Fri 30th Apr 2010 : 9 years ago

    i about 10x smarter than i look.

  25. 177447
    AnomalyJ : Fri 30th Apr 2010 : 9 years ago

    oh and i'm slightly dyslectic so some time if forget how to spell things like "of" and "is" or type you instead of your.

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