Would You Compromise Your Art To Keep A Relationship

Posts 1 - 25 of 26
  1. 1378797
    GregVincey : Tue 9th May 2017 : 4 months ago Whether it's a relationship with your partner, friends, or your family. Would you fold in the towel on your passion, the one thing that makes your heart race?

    You can also share your story on giving up, coming close to giving up, or you just putting it to rest for a while. (No judging each other please)

    The reason I decided to ask you all this question, is because people I know or acquaintances always think they know whats best for me. Almost every approach is money this, money that, work for the government, or join the service lecture. If I say it's not for me, almost every time they talk about their houses or their new cars or how this generation of young people don't like to work hard.

    haha, was a bit of venting there, was on my mind for a long time, I suppose I will talk about it now.
  2. 186161
    Spivkurl : Tue 9th May 2017 : 4 months ago It's difficult to answer your question, since I feel like there are some things missing in your post. I will try to explain...

    When speaking of relationships, you have not mentioned LOVE. At the same time, when speaking of music, you have not mentioned LOVE.

    Then when speaking of the interaction between music and relationships, you are speaking of work/money. This leads me to believe that you think of music as work/money. This is of course your right.

    In the end, none of this leads me to believe that you are speaking of relationships, but are speaking of choosing a career. If someone does not approve of your choice of career, why should you care, especially when LOVE does not enter into it?

    If you honestly feel like you would have to choose between a relationship of some sort and art, then I feel that you may need to sit and think about what you LOVE. Beyond that, there is simply no reason to limit yourself to one thing in life.
  3. 1883865
    Xmachine : Wed 10th May 2017 : 4 months ago If people constantly think they know what is best for you ask youself what is it that they see in you which prompts this response.
  4. 2154535
    808purp : Wed 10th May 2017 : 4 months ago ahah fuck this bitch lets trap
  5. 1378797
    GregVincey : Wed 10th May 2017 : 4 months ago @Xmachine: Artsy stuff arn't the norm here, they see it as time wasting. Which they'r wrong.

    @808purp It's 7:00 AM in the morning, to early to be traping lmao

    @Spivkurl
    It's a well thought out post, direct as possible.

    Any relationship, their's love, and fondness for each other. Why else would their be a relationship? Still haven't mention music in my post above

    Okay dude, that's your opinion. 1st off #1 I only just shared the outlook of relationships towards me, Never even mention music, I said art, yes music is a art form, but there'r artist outside of music.

    I were speaking of relationships till the very end. Bro, I just ask if you would throw in the towels on your passion to keep a relationship, like if your partner, friends, or family gave you an ultimatum. Yes, you shouldn't care, that's your opinion, I want to know what others on the forum think.
  6. 157151
    PatriciaEdwards : Wed 10th May 2017 : 4 months ago That's a very tough decision. I think if a person cares and loves you and they see and know your desire and passion for your music they would not ask you to give that up. You will not be happy in any relationship if you do not stay to true to yourself and follow your dreams and do the things that will make you happy.

    So, my answer, no, I would not compromise, because I would not be happy. Been there, done it, but would never do it again!
  7. 186161
    Spivkurl : Wed 10th May 2017 : 4 months ago Mr. Vincey, I believe that you missed my point somewhat.

    Granted, I simply assumed music seeing as this is a music related site. In that case, simply replace the word music with art, and you are good to go.

    In regards to this - "Any relationship, their's love, and fondness for each other. Why else would their be a relationship?" - There are many reasons which bring people into relationships which have nothing to do with love. As some have said in the past, "you can't choose your family." That is just one obvious example. I personally feel no love at all for the vast majority of my family, yet can not deny the relationship involved.

    To clarify my personal experience... I love art, I love nature, I love my wife, and I love my cat. Each of these things supports the other without question, and I would not have it any other way. Any "relationship" beyond that does not warrant any sort of sacrifice of these "loves" on my part.
  8. 994534
    Neomorpheus : Wed 10th May 2017 : 4 months ago There's always going to be compromise in any kind of relationship. I'm not fully understanding why you use the word compromise and then say throwing in the towel. That's not a compromise. If your relationship is strained due to the amount of time, money, interest etc. that you have in your art or hobby/pastime, a compromise would generally involve reducing your involvement to some degree, NOT throwing in the towel. What are these other people in your life going to give up as part of the deal? A compromise involves both sides settling by mutual concession. Consult Websters.
  9. 1378797
    GregVincey : Fri 19th May 2017 : 4 months ago @PatriciaEdwards Thanks for sharing, I feel you

    @Spivkurl Please point out where I said music in my post! It clearly says art in the tittle, I word it as art because I mean in general, like gardening, knitting, fashion designing etc. Read under this section description, it clearly says, "This area is for posts that have nothing really to do with music or looperman."

    It's great you have support from your fam, thanks for sharing.

    @Neomorpheus "There's always going to be compromise in any kind of relationship." It don't have to be, if the person love you for who you'r. I said compromise, and then "trowing in the towels" because that's sometimes the extent of the situation. I've seen it happen to a lot of people, when either bf/gf or even family don't like the dreams you'r following, and legit gave them an ultimatum, either give it up or get lost type deal. Some gave up their art, and dreams, just to make that person happy, not considering their own well being.
  10. 1041668
    wikkid : Fri 19th May 2017 : 4 months ago Yes, because I've done it.
    There's nothing wrong with having a dream, however its always good to have a backup plan. I enjoyed gigging, however I didn't do it in earnest until I'd graduated from college. My degree is something I was able to fall back on (bought a house, kept food on the table, built a home studio)...

    Now, please understand that when I started, I got pressure about music being a man's world. More of the guys I knew had a girlfriend or wife who worked a job, and so the guys were able to gig. I had a bit more difficulty doing this because of the times (70s, 80s, 90s) and the fact that I was attempting to be a bass playing band leader

    As my children grew, I had to make some ard choices. I wanted to be there for them during school events. I needed to be there to help them navigate this world, so yeah, when the time comes, though you love your "art" sometimes you have to fold up the towel temporarily, due to a death in the family or a birth, or putting food on the table.

    Anyway, that's my two cents, but I never lived my life to please someone else. I never wanted to be that parent who tells their child "If I hadn't had you, I could have done (fill in the blank).

    I did and still do what I want, but it wasn't by accident. It was by design.
  11. 186161
    Spivkurl : Fri 19th May 2017 : 4 months ago Replace "music" with "art" in my posts, and then go on with life. There *should* be no difference.
  12. 796294
    silverman : Fri 19th May 2017 : 4 months ago I hang my headphones up and switch off when I have visitors.
    When my six year old grandaughter calls and wants my time.
    When my 14 year old grandson wants it when my visiting kids want it.
    I press stop and take my phones off when my wife wants my attention.

    Otherwise it would be incredibly self centred and selfish wouldn't it?
    I'm not after fame or money though.
    Mine is just a hobby.
    Those chasing fame and money are often self centred and have an over large ego.
    Yesterday I got taking to a young ghuy who is a music producer. A recording artist. I asked if he had a studio.
    It's all done on my fone maaaan.
    Will there be a hit record soon done on a fone?
    Anyway ... yes you should put others before your hobbies ytour dreams etc or you might end up a very lonely ass hole.
  13. 589130
    Spd2 : Fri 19th May 2017 : 4 months ago I came very close to being signed with Sony back in 2003, but because my wife was carrying my son, I had to make a choice of whether I should continue my quest as an artist and hold a family at the same time, or hang it up and raise my family. I, of course, aligned my priorities and chose family first. I love my family very much, and I don't look back with any regrets. It was a wonderful ride, and I get to share my experience with my children and grandchildren. Now that my children are a bit older, I plan to do acoustic gigs at small clubs and a local coffee house. I get to enjoy playing live locally, and still make most of my time for my family. Let your heart lead you. I encourage you to continue what you love, whether you want success in the business, or having fun making music as a hobby. If you plan to take your music to the next level, make sure to have a back up plan. My two cents :)
  14. 186161
    Spivkurl : Fri 19th May 2017 : 4 months ago As Spd2 so fluently contributes... if children are you art, and your wife is your relationship, then you are not making any sacrifice. Love is involved, either way. For what it's worth, I have been watching Spd2 create music, either way, almost since this time he speaks of. You need not sacrifice one love for another.
  15. 2144253
    Zivonmusic : Fri 19th May 2017 : 4 months ago If you're talking about the 'caring people in your life who tell you to keep a backup plan my slogan is that Anyone who tells you to have a 'plan B' is putting it nicely to you that they expect you to fail...


    ...I feel like I just went off on a tangent..
  16. 111346
    Planetjazzbass : Sat 20th May 2017 : 4 months ago People need to realise that "art" is an inherent innate ability possessed by everyone, it's part of the human condition and being an artist is nothing special it's just "normal" behaviour, look at birds in the sky they don't consider the beauty they represent only we can do that, even the people that advise against pursuing artistic endeavours are artists in some shape or form, be it baking a cake to carving stone, I suppose even people like 808purp have some artistic sensibilities buried somewhere. The whole premise of this thread is a question of peer pressure and the treadmill of consumerism...my advice is the names of the three buttons on a suit jacket starting from the bottom......sometimes, always, never.
  17. 1378797
    GregVincey : Sun 28th May 2017 : 3 months ago @wikkid Thanks for sharing your thoughts, and experiences. Pretty interesting time the 80s, especially the 70s, even 90s. Being of color was hard in those times. I'm glad you shared your story wikkid.

    @Spivkurl Agree to disagree.

    @silverman I don't have kids or grand kids, so I don't know the feeling, but building a family is not for me. I guess that too is selfish of me for thinking like that.

    Their's nothing wrong with chasing fame or money, once it's not bringing harm to you or anyone else. Being self centered, and having a ego are human beings in general, some are meanie as*hol*s, and some are chill, and cool.

    Who knows man, in 2090 you could make a hit record on a phone. In the 80s who'd know you could make make music on a pc, or a laptop. Who knows what the future has.

    I disagree, your time is important too, whether your hobbies are gardening or following your dreams, what you do is valuable, and saying no to others doesn't make you a lonely as*hol*, It's just not the way you tango!

    @Spd2 Interesting experience man, having a family, almost being sign to sony. I'm glad you got active again, doing gigs in clubs, and coffee houses, that's huge bro. Do you boo, and keep at it. I'm glad you shared your story Spd2.

    @Spivkurl Nothing is wrong with what Spd2 just said. The decisions you make is up to you.

    @Zivonmusic No worries bro, you'r speaking your mind. Caring people in your life? Nobody can see your visions accept you, they only see you failing, that's it. Putting it nicely? They do not know what the future has for you, they can't see what you see. Just because someone tells you something, you will do it? or will you do the research yourself, and make your own part?

    @Planetjazzbas "baking a cake to carving stone" You understood what I meant by art. Very well explained for Spivkurl. I think this will clear things up. Thanks for leaving something.

    "my advice is the names of the three buttons on a suit jacket starting from the bottom......sometimes, always, never" Woah, this some heavy stuff.
  18. 186161
    Spivkurl : Sun 28th May 2017 : 3 months ago While I am concerned about even continuing to respond to this thread, considering everyone is making sense except for you, I feel that I must respond to one thing....

    "In the 80s who'd know you could make make music on a pc, or a laptop."

    Laptops were simply not powerful, and were also rather bulky. There were plenty of people making music on computers in the eighties. Have you heard of trackers?
  19. 1041668
    wikkid : Mon 29th May 2017 : 3 months ago Hi Greg,

    Oh, I've dealt with my share of chauvinistic males and females who'd try to steal musicians for their own group. I don't miss those days, but I do have fond memories (except for the mohawk I sported and the colorful spandex we wore)
    I owned one of the first computers for music, just because. It cost $900 in the 80s, but I can't recall the brand name. I had a Moog synth, I think it might still be in my mom's attic.
  20. 1378797
    GregVincey : Tue 30th May 2017 : 3 months ago @Spivkurl: I made sense buddy. Glad you contributed your thoughts.

    Bro, you called an 80s computer a pc? Yes I've heard of trackers.

    @wikkid: Woah, stealing musicians for their group, I can't imagine the amount of manipulation, and violence that took place. I'm glad you made it through safe, and sound.

    The mohawks, and the fashion lmao! I honestly like the colorful spandex, and I wish they'd restore some of the 80s jackets. I remember when I 1st got on a computer. I was like 5 years old, and was staying at a family day-care, It was the white bulky desktop. Aww man, pinball was the game. Thanks for the post wikkid, you brought back old memories, thank you ^-^
  21. 631823
    Mahloo13 : Wed 31st May 2017 : 3 months ago Does your art generate income that can sustain your lifestyle? Because if it doesn't then you are compromising your life and future.

    Getting a job could actually benefit your art (hobby/passion) until you reach a professional level and by professional level I mean a level where you actually get paid for what you do and a level where your passion/art/hobby becomes basically your job.

    As I said above, if you actually get a paid job you could invest some of that money into your passion and if you are serious about it then a 9 to 5 job won't stop you from doing your thing. It won't be easy but then again nothing is easy and straight forward in life. It will be a sacrifice but it could actually be a beneficial sacrifice.
  22. 1378797
    GregVincey : Wed 31st May 2017 : 3 months ago @Mahloo13 Compromising your life or future, what? Does it even matter if your art generates income or not? Nothing is wrong with a 9-5 job, but it's not for everyone. You can see art anywhere, dude look at gardeners, restaurant cooks, clothes designers, people in marketing, people who host events, podcasting, almost no level at all accept research, and knowledge.

    Nothing is wrong with what you just said, it's your opinion. Everyone has experiences that comes with life, It doesn't mean your reality should be mine. Life is a struggle its self, what you do with that time is up to you.
  23. 1041668
    wikkid : Thu 1st Jun 2017 : 3 months ago Greg, I can understand what Mahloo13 is saying, but that's because I've been down that road.

    However, the direction is yours to choose. Man, I know guys (and I'm not gonna be a name dropper) and ladies who haven't seen their kids in years because they were and still are chasing fame. Never paid a dime in child support, because they don't have any money. Guys who can't even buy dentures now that they're older and have missing teeth. Even the ones who had a career, some are couch surfing and broken, because they're broke and broken.

    No one wants anyone with talent to end up that way. So, while there are several schools of thought, like "don't have a plan B, give everything to your art" that's a hell of a lot easier said than done.
    Somewhere along the way you're gonna want food, clothing, shelter, and dare I say it, sex.
    Having a single minded purpose is a beautiful thing. But I've known people whose genius included demons (like depression) that just about killed them when they heard the word "no".
    I know a few others who did make it, but with fame came the parties and drugs. I had to cut quite a few loose, because I wasn't into that lifestye (well, I'm not gonna pretend like I was an angel. I was young and turned heads . . . haha. That's all I'll reveal).

    But uh, in closing, I think you have talent. How far you go with it is up to you. But please, please don't lose yourself in the process. Cause sometimes, shit gets real and you don't get a second chance at a do-over.

    That's my Public service announcement for the day :)
  24. 631823
    Mahloo13 : Thu 1st Jun 2017 : 3 months ago @GregVincey - I've said there is nothing wrong with having a job until your passion becomes your job thus generating income and then you come along and say look at gardeners, restaurant cooks etc. etc....well dude...those guys turned their art into their job, they've turned their passion for those things into their source of income which is exactly my point.

    We've all got basic needs we need to fulfill in life. So my question would be...if your art doesn't generate income and you don't have a job, how do you fulfill those needs?
  25. 2001059
    Kurout : Thu 1st Jun 2017 : 3 months ago Two word answer bro - F**K NO
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